Winter Blues

Over two years ago: our paper work for adoption begins
Love stories sprinkled onto paper, each one familiar
Dates timelines lifetimes
Of childhood influence
And adult perceptions

Sometimes squinting – looking into space and time
We notarized our hearts, to officialise who we are
Whole punched and translated our dreams
And couriered them across the seas

Furnished a trailer with bunks
And child sized bright blankets
Green polka dots and flannel tie dye
Pasted growth charts on doorways
And waited…months

The days pass hopeful
Wonder full work full life full
Except for the wait
That becomes longer
And less certain
Day by day

And we are, again
Winter well on its way

There is no known reason at this point
For this empty wait
Black chalk table writes “come home babies”
With pastel pink blue hearts of faith
Alongside empty coloured chairs
Primary coloured seats ready for play dates

No logical answers
At this point,
we are not even sure of the questions
To ask or to who
Sometimes squinting through
Can we notarize these winters and send those, too?